


'dashi in the Bathroom

by iTs_LeMoNaDe_ReAd_ThE_sIgN



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, I love him I promise, Inspired by Be More Chill, M/M, Unrequited Crush, poor yamaguchi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-09
Updated: 2017-06-09
Packaged: 2018-11-11 14:02:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11149926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iTs_LeMoNaDe_ReAd_ThE_sIgN/pseuds/iTs_LeMoNaDe_ReAd_ThE_sIgN
Summary: "Now I'm just 'dashi in the bathroom, 'dashi in the bathroom at a party. Forget how long it's been". He mumbled remorsely. He let out a small, barely noticeable chuckle."I'm just 'dashi in the bathroom, 'dashi in the bathroom at a party" There was a knock on the locked door."No, you can't come in".





	'dashi in the Bathroom

**Author's Note:**

> Have you seen/heard any songs from Be More Chill the Musical? Well here's a fic inspired by one of them.  
> (I wrote this at 3am last night.)

Yamaguchi sat on the closed toilet in the mostly clean bathroom

" _I am hanging in the bathroom at the biggest party of the fall_ " He said to himself. He wondered if him staying in the room or leaving would make a difference; it's not like anyone noticed him at Kuroo's party in the first place.

Yeah, so he kinda snuck into the party 'but it's not like he expected Tsukki to just up and leave without him he thought with a deep frown. 

_ "But I'd rather fake pee than stand awkwardly or pretend to check a text on my phone" _

Honestly Yamaguchi thought everything between the two of them was going fine. Sure, Tsukki had given him the cold shoulder without warning but this wasn't the first time something like that happened. So everything was fine in his mind. Great even...Until the party, that is. Now he guessed he just wasn’t-would never be- good enough for Tsukki.

When was the last time Tsukki had actually up and left him like this? Yamaguchi didn't think anything like this had ever happened before. They had always been together, since grade school. Without Tsukki...

_"Now I'm just 'dashi in the bathroom, 'dashi in the bathroom at a party. Forget how long it's been"._ He mumbled remorsely. He let out a small, barely noticeable chuckle. 

_"I'm just 'dashi in the bathroom, 'dashi in the bathroom at a party"_ There was a knock on the locked door. _"No, you can't come in"._

Yamaguchi decided to wait the party out, and maybe pick at the grout on loose tiles. It wasn't the most fun thing he could do, but with a dead phone and -1 best friend he didn't have many options. 

_ "I'm just 'dashi who you don't know, 'dashi flying solo, 'dashi in the bathroom by himself.  _ _All by himself"_ He rose from the toilet seat, the chill in his spine gradually increasing. Yamaguchi briefly acknowledged the light out of body feeling he had as he moved to find the perfect tile. He balanced himself on the side of the bathtub as he searched for a tile.  

_"I am hiding but he's out there, just ignoring all our history"_. Yamaguchi heard a drunken laugh from outside the door, one he recognized but at the same time sounded foreign to him. He dug his finger into the rough edge of the tile he dubbed perfect for picking. The grout dug into his skin, almost separating his cuticle and nail. Before the pain could register, he wondered if Tsukki ever laughed like that around  him.

_"Memories get erased and I'll get replaced with a newer cooler version of me"._ He told himself in a mock comforting voice, that small smile still in place, even as his chest grew tighter. 

Yamaguchi heard a high pitched, drunken rendition of a Whitney Houston song. He allowed himself to join in on that one iconic line, if only to make fun of the girl singing. 

“I wanna dance with somebody!”

His smile grew wider for a second, before shrinking back as he remembered that his ex best friend wasn't there to laugh with him. He let out an involuntary shiver and then he stood, suddenly feeling too uncomfortable on the tub.

_"Now it's just 'dashi in the bathroom, 'dashi in the bathroom at a party. I half regret the beers."_ He practically sang, not completely against the light headed feeling he had from them. He felt his body sway gently as his vision blurred with teas. He grabbed the sides of the sink to steady himself as a whimper escaped him. 

_ "I'll wait as long as I need, till my face is dry.  _ _Or I'll just blame it on weed or something in my eye._ " He told himself, startled by how his own voice raised. 

 

_ "I'm just 'dashi who you don't know, 'dashi "flying solo, 'dashi in the bathroom by himself!"  _

**Knock knock knock knock**

Yamaguchi's blood ran cold. Suddenly he felt like he was in his body again, only now it was like gravity was crushing him. His eyes flicked nervously to the door. 

_ "They're gonna start to shout soon"  _

**Knock knock knock knock**

_"Aw hell yeah, I'll be out soon"_ He said, mostly to himself as his grip on the sink tightened. His breath quickened as he felt the air grow thin. 

**Knock knock knock knock**

The knocks were getting louder. _"It sucks you left me here alone,"_ He wanted to tell him Tsukki off, yell at him, punch him. Anything. 

**Knock knock knock knock**

_"Here in this teenage battle zone"_ -but he wasn't ready to leave his safe haven. _He WASN’T READY. GO AWAY. _

**Clang clang clang clang**

Someone tried turning the doorknob, and he cringed when the sound of metal scraping metal sounded louder than it probably should have been. He couldn't take it. 

_ "I feel the pressure blowing up" _

 

**Bang bang bang bang**

Whoever was at the door was tired of waiting, he guessed. Why couldn't they just find another bathroom? Kuroo probably more than one! 

_"My big mistake was showing up"_ Yamaguchi turned on the faucet, making sure the water was the coldest it could go. 

Splash splash splash splash

_"I throw some water in my face,"_ It did nothing to help the shivers running up and down his back, but at least his face wasn't so red anymore. _"And I am in a better place"_

Yamaguchi let go of the sink and moved towards the door. He tried to seem confident, or stoned, or whatever would get him the least amount of looks. His hand reached for the lock- _"but I can't hear knocking anymore"_ -and pulled it back as if he had been burned. He let out a shaky breath as ne walked back to the sink. he eased himself to the floor between the tub and toilet. 

_"I can't help but yearn. For a different time."_ He gripped the sink tightly, feeling heat rush to his face. Those damn tears were back too soon. "And then I look in the mirror and the present is clearer. And there's no denying, I'm just-" He choked. Another wave of heat washed over his face as he trembled. Yamaguchi let go of the sink, not wanting to look at his own face, and he eased himself to the floor between the tub and toilet. He hugged his knees, letting himself tremble, his smile long gone. 

_"At a party, is there a sadder sight than"_ He heard himself hum, not trusting his voice.

_ "Hmmmm 'dashi in the bathroom at a party, this is a heinous night" _

The room was too hot, his head hurt, he wanted to go home, but the alcohol wasn't pleasant anymore. He needed help, but he was alone.

 

_"I wish I stayed at home in bed watching cable porn, Or wish I offered myself instead, wish I was never born"_  He felt himself start to yell. 

_ "I'm just 'dashi who's a loner so he must be a stoner. _

_ Rides a PT Cruiser, God he's such a loser. _

_ 'dashi flying solo, who you think that you know. _

_'dashi in the bathroom by himself."_ His cheeks felt hot and wet

_"All by himself."_ his nose ran, and his shivering had reached its worst, 

_"All by himself."_ but who was around to care?

No one. No one cared. Yamaguchi felt the shivers stop, but he was still so cold. He gave a laugh as his shoulders hunched. He tucked his head between his arms.

_ "All you know about me is my name. _

_ Awesome party I'm so glad I came"  _

 

**Author's Note:**

> Seriously though have you heard "Michael in the Bathroom" from Be More Chill? I heard the song for the first time and I immediately thought of Yamaguchi as Michael in a bathroom at Kuroo's house party. Please listen to it in a quiet room or with headphones and just let the feels hit you.


End file.
